How to Convince People Your Satire Is Just “Alternative Facts”

How
to
Convince
People
Your
Satire
Is
Just
“Alternative
Facts”

The
Rise
of
Unintentional
Satire

In
a
post-truth
world,
satire
often
blurs
with
reality.
The
key
to
passing
off
absurdity
as
“alternative
facts”
is
confidence—if
you
say
it
with
a
straight
face,
someone
will
believe
it.
Example:
“Studies
show
that
70%
of
statistics
are
made
up
on
the
spot,
including
this
one.”

Step
1:
Borrow
Political
Doublespeak

Use
phrases
like
“fake
news,”
“deep
state,”
or
“many
people
are
saying”
to
lend
credibility.
Example:
“Many
people
are
saying
that
birds
aren’t
real—and
frankly,
have
you
ever
seen
a
baby
pigeon?”

Step
2:
Cite
Nonexistent
Sources

Example:
“According
to
a
leaked
Pentagon
report,
the
moon
landing
was
faked
to
distract
from
Elvis’s
secret
CIA
mission.”
Bonus
points
for
adding
“Fact-checkers
disagree,
but
what
do
they
know?”

Step
3:
Gaslight
Gracefully

When
challenged,
double
down.
Example:
“If
you
can’t
see
the
truth
about
lizard
people
running
the
Fed,
you’re
part
of
the
problem.”

Advanced
Techniques

1.
The
“Kellyanne
Conway”

Defend
obvious
satire
as
a
“different
perspective.”
Example:
“Calling
my
article
‘false’
is
elitist.
It’s
just
*urban*
satire.”

2.
The
“Satirical
Straw
Man”

Invent
a
ridiculous
opponent.
Example:
“The
woke
left
wants
to
ban
gravity
for
being
too
oppressive.
I
stand
with
Newton!”

3.
The
“Self-Owning
Headline”

Example:
“This
Article
Is
100%
Accurate
(Disclaimer:
Accuracy
not
guaranteed).”

Conclusion

With
practice,
you
too
can
make
satire
indistinguishable
from
propaganda.
Just
remember:
The
bigger
the
lie,
the
more
it
trends.